Because the remaining three types of relationships are so focused in nature and involve matters of the heart, they become the deepest and most complex. As you reflect on these, remember the three basic characteristics of good relationships ie., HUMILITY – COURAGE – HONESTY.
SPIRITUAL
This is a relationship with the Creator, the Almighty. We admit the existence of a Supreme Being, an entity that cannot be proven but one that we know exists through personal reflection and faith. We humbly stand before God acknowledging His existence, courageously asking for His help, submitting ourselves to His will and honestly exposing our humanness and frailty. The more we reflect, the more we communicate to God, the more we expose ourselves in prayer, the deeper our relationship becomes and the more we realize that God is “all in” in our lives. God opens His heart to us as we present our hearts to Him. The deeper this relationship grows the more we realize that God will never push us out and that only through sin do we separate and distance ourselves from Him. It is a personal choice if this relationship is part of our being and how deep it becomes. It involves proactiveness to grow and, for that reason, is complex.
SPOUSAL
This is a relationship where two people have grown to admire, respect, and honor each other to a depth where matters of the heart are involved. It’s way beyond affinity or attractiveness and the focus is on each other. Each party to this relationship chooses to give 110% to the other with no expectation of return. I’ll say that again; one gives the other 110% and the other gives the one 110% with no expectation of return. There is a high degree of trust and confidence, so large that they choose to pledge themselves to each other, till death do they part. It absolutely necessitates a high degree of humility, courage, and honesty, so much so that failure can dissolve the relationship. This, too, requires constant activity because without growth, the relationship can become stagnant. Oddly enough, the complexity of the spousal relationship comes with the realization that it strengthens when the parties understand that the presence of God plays a major role in the outcome.
PARENT-CHILD
This is the relationship that occurs because two people have witnessed a strong, vibrant, deep, and growing relationship to such an extent that they choose to share it intimately with others, namely children. The day a child is born, the focus switches immediately from each other to the child and later on, if so desired, the children. Anybody who has had a child knows without any reservation that this, too, results in complex interaction. Again, humility, courage, and honesty are of the utmost importance. Decisions are made for the good of the family. It involves nurturing, caring, teaching and patience. It will never be about accumulating things. The house becomes a home, the dinner table becomes a forum for discussion, and time is devoted to personal growth for the family. You can only imagine in a world of distractions how complex and challenging this can be. When done correctly, this relationship is second only to the spiritual relationship in depth and satisfaction. Like the spousal relationship, the parent-child relationship strengthens when God is part of the equation.
Francis A Castelli 